at last and finally

at last, now i can talk straightly. i'm now sober for i have drunk all of the things one would never imagine. frustrations. anger. deceptions. guilt. i have been walking in curves, talking foolishly, and thinking so much. and the much was all but nothing.

i understood what life is. and i sometimes think that this "life is" would be "life was."

is it really wrong if you're not going to make your promises for some reason and when they say that "promises are meant to be broken"? but i'm not really saying i've been promising and nailing them all. i really want to say sorry for doing such. i didn't mean to but i have to. one has to learn from his mistakes but i'm wondering if what i have done is a mistake.

and yes, i forgot to mention that i lost again, for the third time, the division press conference, photojournalism category. i don't know why. but everytime i join the contest, i have so much confidence in me. is that wrong? but from what i know i could always be the winner. unfortunately, none of that happened.