i badly need your help. am i that fucked up? do i deserve this? i really don't know what has been happening to me. to my friends? to family? to her? have i been that bad? so bad, that i cease to exist in your world? i think, she doesn't understand 'coz she would bothers to. hay. life.

mga politiko nga naman.

politicians will never stop irritating you. one. they are trying to please by showing you their commercials of their "charity" work. as if it is not their obligation to help filipinos who are in need. as if we really owe them that much. which leads me to number two. two. in these commercials, they use their own name in financing the "charity" work. quoting: "dahil kay senador manoy villaringo, pinauwi ang mga..." talaga lang ah. what could be worse is that they might, i'm not saying they are (there may be chances, but who knows), be using our taxes in these infomercials. third. all this, boil down to the point that they are making pogi points for the upcoming elections. and as some would say, campaign would start after the day of losing. fourth. they try to liken themselves to us president barack obama. hay. he may have caused a change by becoming the first black president but he hasn't proved his worth yet. it's not that i don't believe in him. (to all politikos) please don't try to compare yourselves to him, the change that obama believed is not the same as your conceived change (of campaign strategy, or a worse way of getting money from the public, etc). please stop it. P. S. am i losing my trust on the politicians here in the philippines? i hope not. do i smell decadence? ehehe. oh pilipinas kong mahal. this time, i promise, that i wouldn't be apathetic and try to make a difference by making the right vote.

a new found poem

you gotta love this poem. we studied this for modern literature class. Desert Places by Robert Frost Snow falling and night falling fast, oh, fast In a field I looked into going past, And the ground almost covered smooth in snow, But a few weeds and stubble showing last. The woods around it have it--it is theirs. All animals are smothered in their lairs. I am too absent-spirited to count; The loneliness includes me unawares. And lonely as it is that loneliness Will be more lonely ere it will be less-- A blanker whiteness of benighted snow With no expression, nothing to express. They cannot scare me with their empty spaces Between stars--on stars where no human race is. I have it in me so much nearer home To scare myself with my own desert places.

not good.

i really hate having colds. i was in the mood to revise our paper for family (the philo subject) but because of colds, i had to rest. upon reaching home, at around 8pm, i ate dinner and slept till 6 in the morning. darn! now, all of my schoolworks would be crammed. i don't have any idea where i got this colds. and now is not the right time to have colds - i know, there would be no great time for one to have a disease - but, i'm really in a bad state right now. having a disease would not even help. i'm feeling really bad about how things are going plus, i'm feeling bad because of this colds. damn it.

autism

according to this test on this website: [http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html>] 80% of people who have autism or related cases scored 32 or higher. guess what? i scored a whopping 33 points. woohoo!!! but i think, i have autism for the reason that i create my own world - autism in layman's term. a world of make believe, where i conceive that everything is alright and fine. but in reality, everything's not, that i am living in world of lie. it seems that the world i'm living right is not the real world after all. yun lang. bow. but honestly, i'm deeply troubled.

Pride: 1 vs Myself: 0

cold

i really love the weather. it's cold and conducive to making really good porma. ahaha. you wouldn't look a t.h. if you're going to have layers on your clothing. besides that, i really feel like listening to death cab for cutie. i just find the weather and death cab a perfect match. cold and lonely. i just hope the weather goes on until summer. right now, i don't know how will i be adjusting to the very hot summer. and they say that the upcoming summer's gonna be hotter than last year. is it cold for you?

after our tiring game at mpc, miggy and i went to metrowalk because he wanted to buy some dvd. something caught my attention because it was posted on one of the walls. blah blah blah... MENTAIN. the word got me. however, that's not really the point of this entry. it's my invitation to: watch our first game tom: CRIMSON LIONS vs SOUTH HARMON (INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY) @ MPC, 1:30 pm. be there and support our team, south harmon! ahahah spread the word

good bye '08, hello '09

...it's lame, i know. i just wanted to say, though late, happy new year to all. following the trend, i listed down some of my realizations/events/rants... -world youth day: it was my first time to leave the country. i really did enjoy my trip to australia to see the pope, meet new friends, and strengthen and renew my faith. -ideashop events: i was invited to two nokia parties - one was the soul of the night (@ embassy, sometime summer) and the other was a rock party(@teatrino, GH, sometime june). i also p.a.-ed for the sandalias festival(@ glorietta, sometime october). i was even invited to attend their christmas party (@moa) when i got embarrasedly wild. -i realized that some friends let you down. patalo. i mean, a friend lang pala. as in nilalaglag ka. . why can't he understand my beliefs and just let me be me while insisting on his superficial and perv-ish standpoints? asar. -after some reflection, the year started really good - that is to my favor. as if everything was falling into place. then poof! it was all gone. or was it just me? as the year ended, i became really crappy. my apologies. -i haven't improved my studying habits. i just hope this year, it would get better. -i became a president of ua&p-pathways. and an evp of venatores lucis. yup, i am not a good leader, i must say. i'm really afraid of the coming year because there would be bigger responsibilities, on bea and on iep. -i gained friends and lost some. parang weight lang but more of gaining. my all-time high: 170 lbs (but after eating breakfast at mcdo). it's scary because all of my weight went to my ab. -i was able to attend the concert of incubus last march. hello, again, brandon boyd and bandmates. ehehe -i was a groupie to the ua&p women's basketball team. hehe. before ending this, i just want to thank everyone for helping me. my family, friends, teachers, whatevers.